It’s strange what going to Europe and living in SF these past couple of months will do to a person. I’m back here in Irvine signing some papers on my apartment here and hanging out for Labor Day. I feel displaced. Like I dont fit in here anymore. I’m caught between what I’m building in SF and what I already have in socal.
Getting out of your comfort zone away from all of your friends and family is important. Yes I’m fucking scared up here in SF. It’s hard being away from LA/OC. So much easier to get shit done but that has led me to complacency. Since leaving my home I’ve done a portfolio, gotten it up on the internets, and I’m looking for proper work again.
Change is hard. My problem is that I’ve been faking it so hard for so long I’ve forgotten what I was. Gotta fake the fake to become real again. Work on me. I finished up a short 36 hour fast to clear my mind a bit as I look for work. Amazing what a lack of food will do to a persons mind. It’s great and I highly recommend it.
First, and foremost, let people LIKE what they like. I don’t see why people feel the need to act in such a pretentious manner. If a group of kids decide that they want to dress as wolves/go to raves/get into punk music/say new slang words/worship Justin Bieber/appreciate and admire Lady…
Being here is an awesome feeling but I’m feeling really lonely. It just sucks to work things out with your ex and she bails to Taiwan for 6 months. The only times I don’t feel this way are with her and when I’m on the dancefloor. The warmth from going all out, and the cold morning air as you leave refreshed from the nights activity. It’s time to move on again and get it all sorted. I always do but its times like this that give you doubt. But you need them to see properly. See your way out.
Exit stage. To the left. No the door isn’t there. There is no building just your own thoughts. Done.